Saturday, January 5, 2013

Yep, I'm a blogger.

Why "Little Chicken" you ask?  Because A) that's what my hubby calls me though I don't know how that started and B) I couldn't think of anything better. He calls me his Little Chicken and I call him my Handsome Turkey.  We even engraved it in each other's wedding bands. Aren't we cute? Gag.

Mmm, Samoas...
So I've decided to go ahead and start a blog because I've been feeling slightly mental lately and figured this would be more productive than starting fights with Hubby or having a contest with myself to see how quickly I can eat all the girl scout cookies in the house.

(I would totally win that contest by the way).

Hubby and I have been trying to make a baby since last June. It's not going very well. Actually, a more accurate description is that we've been wanting to make a baby since last June. We haven't really had much opportunity to try. This is because sex is not exactly commonplace in this house. Frankly put, we almost never have it unless I convince him. He has chronic back pain (Degenerative Disc Disease to be precise) from a combo of bad genes and old hockey injuries which means even getting out of a chair is painful for him now, nevermind rapidly pounding his hips into his wife's lady bits.  The thought of oncoming pain doesn't exactly get him all hot and bothered and it probably doesn't help that I've gained 20 lbs since we started trying (did I mention I like cookies?) so he's not really salivating at the sight of me in my daily uniform of elastic waistband pants and oversized sweatshirts. 
Unfortunately I have back pain too (although definitely not as bad as his) so I'm not big on sexin it up either unless I happen to be either super horny or think I'm about to ovulate.  
When we actually DO have sex we're like two cripples for the rest of the day and usually he's out of commission the whole next day too. We're like 80 year olds. It's sad.

The other big reason I say we've been wanting vs. trying is because things are not so good in the whole fertility department yet.  I've had irregular cycles my whole life but I was on the Pill almost consistently from the age of 18 until now which always regulated my cycles just fine. Anytime I went off it for whatever reason, my period would usually come either every 2 weeks or every 2-3 months. Totally unpredictable.  I never really gave too much thought to the fact that this would be a problem until we actually started TTC 7 months ago. Um yeah, it's a problem.  My last cycle started on August 18th and did not end until DECEMBER 16th! That is a long. ass. cycle. And it only ended then because I finally got some Provera to force my body to have a period again.  I've been using Fertility Friend to chart my temps, etc. and based on my charts it appears I have not ovulated ONCE since we began trying. That is also a problem. Below is an example of how my charts tend to look with the crazy up and down rollercoaster temps (except without those lovely crosshairs):
This chart belongs to some random lucky biatch who actually Os

So the irregular cycles and anovulation coupled with the fact that I have almost every symptom of Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome in the book (including some rather fetching facial hair which likely does not contribute to my hubby wanting to jump my bones either) has led my OB/GYN to conclude that I have PCOS.

So then is it still considered "trying" to conceive when all I'm really doing is constantly reading, researching, and thinking about TTC, stalking the bump, temping every day, peeing on things (OPKs and HPTs, not like, an armchair) and lamenting about how f-ed up my body is? 

Also, even though we've been trying since June, we've still only had sex about a dozen times since I need to time it just right to both hit my (anticipated) fertile window and cause the least amount of pain to my hubby. And since I haven't O'd yet I haven't had a fertile window yet. So depressing.

Hmm, so far this blog is more just me complaining. Are you enjoying yourself yet? Tomorrow I will complain about my OB/GYN. Or maybe even later tonight if I get bored :-)  


  1. omg, so your blog is hilarious! for starters..."handsome turkey"??? I love it! haha. Oh, & I love samoas as well! :) And I love the "pee on all the sticks" pic, haha. At least you're able to keep your sense of humor in this process! ;)

    1. Haha, thank you! I try to have a sense of humor but if you read on I'm not so sure it's as entertaining as the months tick on... :-)