Friday, July 26, 2013

Jekyll & Hyde

I know I joked the other day about the Clomid craziness starting but Holy. Crap. The ANGER, my god, the anger! I am not enjoying 150mg. I'm seriously like Jekyll and Hyde: I'll be completely fine one minute and then the next minute I want to scream at the top of my lungs, throw things and cry hysterically all at the same time for NO reason. I'm going nuts.

Hubs refers to it as me "hulking up".  It feels like I'm becoming freakishly strong and scary and losing control over my emotions and actions.  I want to rip my skin off of my body and run around flailing. It's crazy. I haven't quite figured out yet what to do to manage this when it happens...

Last night for example, it took longer than usual to fall asleep and I could feel myself hulking up. My blood started boiling, I starting huffing and tossing and turning and could not calm myself down. I was too hot so I ripped my PJ pants off and flung them on the floor; I got all pissed off because the sheets were too...ON me so I kicked and pulled at them; I was irrationally angry that my pillow felt too hard so I kept punching it and eventually got so frustrated I just chucked it as hard as possible across the room... You get the picture. Poor hubby just laid there like a little mouse and didn't make a sound. I don't think he even breathed out of fear that I might notice him there and turn my predator wrath from the inanimate bed to him.  Once I had finally calmed down he asked if I was okay and rubbed my back and I eventually fell asleep. I'm like a child throwing a temper tantrum.

This is not fun at all.

I have a lot of plans with people this weekend and need to figure out how to control this so that I can avoid killing one of them.

Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.


  1. I totally understand. Clomid makes me crazy too... I hope it is all worth it for you!

  2. Lol, you painted quite a picture! Hope it's all worth it, fx for you!!