My head is a bit of a mess. To the point where writing a comprehensive blog post isn't really possible lately so this is what you get instead :-)
I took a test today at 14DPO and it was stark white. I don't have the energy to try to express all the conflicting emotions I feel about that.
However, despite my continued uncertainty as to whether TTC again is what will help move me out of this low place or if finding a way to move out of this on my own before TTCAL is the better plan, I've decided I am sick of feeling unsure and afraid. I am an action-oriented person so I am taking action: Hubs and I are meeting with the RE on Thursday to start the process for FET #1. In the last week I had all my medical records from the pregnancy and D&E (from my OB, Periontologist and Operating Dr [3 different hospitals]) sent to the RE's office and have secured another 6 months of referrals from my PCP.
Ready or not, here we come.