Sunday, October 26, 2014

15 (& 1/2) weeks: Positive steps

So, I've taken some positive steps since my last post:
  • I contacted a therapist and set up my first appointment. She couldn't get me in until Nov 11th but at least it's scheduled.
  • I opened up to Hubs that night about everything. He was very understanding and said he would help in whatever way he could. It was a good conversation and it helped to set me at ease a little bit. I guess I was really holding a lot in because after that convo I finally slept well and woke up feeling good the next morning. That hasn't happened in a long time.
  • I called up a friend to get together for lunch on Saturday. I'm glad I did.
  • I went to a Halloween Party last night and saw a lot of people and it was totally fine.  I even ran into our friend A and his mysterious wife (remember them? The ones we unexpectedly ran into at the RE's office last year when we were going through IVF but I STILL had not met her?) and she's PG too, about 2 weeks behind me!  AND, I like her!  I thought she would be weird and snobby or something but she wasn't!  I hope we get together more.
Okay, so I'm proud of myself for all of that stuff and I hope I keep it up.  I guess I was in a real downward swing but hopefully things are starting to look up now. Being PgAL is QUITE the rollercoaster.


So now I'm a bit over 15 weeks which means we have less than 2 weeks until our anatomy scan. I also have a routine prenatal appt this Tues with the high risk OB. Hopefully everything will go well there because Hubs can't come. I know I'm still PG because I can feel the stretching, etc. every day but I'm still afraid. I think I have PTSD from the last appt when I thought it was all over.

My belly has officially popped in the last weekish. Here I am in all my saggy-ass maternity pants glory:

My maternity pants fit me well with the last pregnancy but this time they are too big since I had lost some weight right before getting PG. I absolutely refuse to buy more at this point though since I suspect that if I continue with my crap-filled diet I will fill them up soon enough. For now I will deal with the sag. 

I'm still holding steady at -1 lb below starting weight. I suspect this is because I still hate all food. Every now and then something will sound good so I run right out and get it on the spot since that happens so seldom. Otherwise I mostly have to force myself to eat.  There's a lot of cereal consumption happening 'round here.  Nausea's still hanging in there but I can't complain. Plus, the Zofran usually works.

Other than that things are fine physically and I'm just waiting.

Thank you to everyone who offered support over the last week. I really appreciate it. <3


  1. I'm glad to hear things are turning around a bit for you! I'm glad also you have an appt. with a therapist, I really feel like that is a great idea and can help soooo much.

    P.S. Awww, yay for a bump!!!

  2. I am so, so proud of you! I truly hope that all these steps you have taken so far help you, and you are able to continue to keep taking steps to healing. I know your appointment with the therapist is a few weeks away still, but you are right - its a start. and in the meantime it seems like you are doing everything you can to help yourself. I'm sure Petey is so proud of you.

  3. Wow, you just continue to amaze me with your courage. Sometimes I have the most difficult time telling T that I'm going through something, but he always surprises me with his support and love. Even though I know he would never criticize, it's still so hard to open up. I think you should be really proud of yourself for doing it.

    1. PS - you look so beautiful!!!

  4. I'm glad that you made some positive steps! I am proud of you too, but I also want you to remember that it's okay to not be okay every day <3 I LOL'd at saggy-ass glory because I usually have that problem too. It helps to throw them in the dryer sometimes. Anyway, I think you look fantastic despite the big pants! I hope that everything goes well on Tuesday. Prayers and FX for you!!

  5. I love the list of positives, way to go, Chickin! And I'm so glad you and H had a good convo, I hope it feels good to have been able to share that with him, even if it was tough to do. You're looking great, lady! Continuing to send love and prayers your way <3

  6. So glad to hear that you've had some better moments recently!!

  7. So glad you are taking positive steps. Your belly looks adorable :)

  8. Good for you for focusing on the positives and taking action to help yourself feel better! <3

  9. Sending love to my favorite Chickin, Rainbow & Nugget in the whole world!

  10. I love the list of positives and the picture! As always, sending you all so much love! <3

  11. I am around too and would LOVE to meet up for lunch or anything IRL <3 Your doing awesome honey hang in there