Friday, October 17, 2014

14 weeks: The good.

I really want to try to make more of an effort to focus on the good. I owe that to my little Rainbow (and to myself too, really).  Maybe I just have to remind myself that yes, I love Petey and I miss him and I always will, but letting my grief and sadness run my life is not helping anyone. It won't bring him back and it's certainly not making me feel any better.  So I'm going to try to focus a bit more each day on the things that I have to be happy about (namely, a new little life growing inside me).

So, The good
  • I have hit the 2nd trimester!  I've officially made it through the horrid 1st trimester TWICE in (mostly) one piece
  • Nausea is getting a bit better and I have my wonderful Zofran for the bad days
  • My belly is getting rounder (but I'm still holding steady at my starting weight - go me!)
  • My boobs haven't changed much at all and never hurt (which is VERY different from my 1st pregnancy)
  • I sleep decently most nights thanks to my memory-foam mattress topper! 
  • I am having very few cravings
  • I'm lucky in that I work from home 3 days/week and can live in yoga pants and huge oversized tees half the time since I'm still at the funny in-between stage where my clothes are too small/uncomfortable but maternity clothes are still too big.
  • What else?'s Friday! Ok, that's it for now.

The not-as-good
  • I am super constipated.  I mean super. I need some Colace or something STAT.
  • My diet is terrible.  Meat still makes me gag and I haven't been able to choke down a vegetable in months.  I am grossing myself out.
  • I still cannot exercise and get light-headed if I try to do too much. I almost fainted walking the dog the other day so now I'm a little scared to try again.

I wonder if I will start feeling excitement once we pass the anatomy scan (assuming all goes well)? With this pregnancy I just feel like I'm waiting.  I'm experiencing all the pregnancy symptoms, both good and bad, and every time something "new" happens I just sort of recognize it like, "yup, here's that again, right about when it came last time", and then just wait for the next thing.  Hopefully once I pass 20 weeks (again, assuming I get there [I can't seem to say/think about the future without a disclaimer]) things will start to change for me. At that point I'll be entering uncharted territory. Hopefully the apprehension and feeling of deja vu will fade and be replaced with excitement and anticipation.  And hope.

And in non-baby related good news: I do government-funded contract work and just found out today (after MONTHS of waiting) that our company won the rebid for the next 5 years!!! Thank goodness. If we hadn't won I'd be out of a job come October 31st! Cutting it close there, gov't!

Have a good weekend, people!


  1. I think Petey would want you to enjoy things with Rainbow. He knows that being happy in this pregnancy does not mean that you don't miss or love him. It would be so hard to not compare things though, I can only imagine. I just hope you don't feel guilty for feeling what you're feeling if it is happy or excited. You deserve to feel those things.

    Restoralax got me through my bad constipation issues. I only took it every two days and it kept me regular. I drank it in a glass of orange juice or coffee every second morning and felt more regular than I have ever been! Being constipated stinks, I hope you can get some relief soon!

    I think of you and Petey and Rainbow all the time. <3 you sweetie.

  2. I'm glad to hear that you have such a long list of positives :) And hooray for the rebid! I know how hard you worked for that, and I'm happy to see it paid off! Was that really FIVE months ago?! Wow.

    Sending constant love to you, S, P & R <3

  3. So many wonderful things! Congrats on the second trimester! We take this one day at a time, and this is a big milestone. I can relate to the vegetable thing. I want to gag when I see salad now (and today I had FOUR mini desserts. UGH). I started taking probiotics and that made my um, well, poops, more regular. LOL!

  4. Congrats on the job getting extended, that is awesome!

    And yahoo to the second trimester!

  5. Woohoo - congrats on entering the second trimester! I agree with Ally - I think Petey would want you to focus on the positives. I don't think that means you're forgetting him. You know that will never happen. You are such a wonderful person and you have more than enough room for both of them in your heart <3

    And I don't blame you about the vegetable thing. I'm not doing so well right now either. In fact, I haven't been able to stop eating cinnamon raisin muffins or toast for the past month :P

  6. Congrats on hitting 2nd tri, that's a big milestone! Sometimes it does take a conscious effort to try and focus on the positives, and I'm glad you were able to come up with such a great list. I'll echo Ally too, I don't think for a second that Petey isn't looking down on you, wanting the best for you, wanting you to be happy, and wanting his little brother/sister to be thriving and doing well. I know you, Chickin, I know you have the biggest heart, and there is more than enough love in there for both of you little ones. Being happy and enjoying your pregnancy does not take away your love for Petey, and I truly believe he knows that. Lots of love to you all <3