Can We All Agree?: Gaga Edition

So according to Rolling Stone, Elton John and his husband have named Lady Gaga as their baby son's godmother. She is already godmother to their older son.  Elton reportedly said that Lady Gaga is "a great role model".  Uhhh, really?

Can we all agree that Lady Gaga just might be the strangest possible choice as godmother for your child? 

Listen, Elton; just because someone shares your affinity for crazy ass outfits does not mean s/he is the best choice to be the spiritual role model for your children and raise them in the event of your death. 

Let's check out some reasons why not:

Even Eminem is scared of her.

I'm afraid she might poke the kids eyes out.

Mmm, not so religious.

Might be the love child of Freddy Kruger & the Phantom of the Opera

Hey, maybe this is why the kids like her:

She's a human-sized action figurine!

Built-in toys!

Maybe the kids love the Sesame St martians as much as I did...

Kids love bubbles!

Yip yip yip yip uh huh uh huh

Floodgates are open!

 

Yahoo!

(Don't you just love reading every little thing about my bodily functions?)

Clomid begins on Wednesday!

Mother's Day next year

CD60. 
Still waiting. Nothing much going on.  The hot flashes have stopped at least! Hurrah! Honestly I've been SWAMPED at work lately so TTC hasn't even been on my mind. Hoping I get my period soon though...

So here's a cute little tidbit: Hubs and I were talking about plans for Mother's Day this weekend and out of the blue he said "Next Mother's Day we'll be celebrating for you! I know it. You're going to be a Mom at this time next year."  I won't lie - it made me tear up a little.  Granted, he has no idea what he's talking about since neither of us can predict the future but whatever. I'm going to choose to believe him.

What say you, Miss Cleo? "The cards don lie honay"

CD57: Just waitin' to bleed

I finished the Provera Rx yesterday so now I'm just waiting to bleed so I can start the Clomid on CD5!

This time I took the 10mg pills for 5 days instead of the 5mg pills for 10 days.  I always take it before bed so that I can sleep through the side effects but that didn't really work this time since the hot flashes and subsequent sweating woke me up multiple times a night for the past 4 nights.  It felt like I was laying in a bed of fire.  I'm sure my hubby loved all the exasperated huffing and cover-throwing coming from me the last few nights. Still better than feeling like that while at work though! And I do like that the Rx only took half the time.  

Now I'm just keeping my FX that I get a period since the beginning of this cycle started with 18 days of bleeding. Technically, that ended a full month ago now though so hopefully my lining has built back up in that time.  We'll see!

I've got a plan! (It's name is Clomid)

Hubby and I met with the RE today for a follow up appt since I have now finished all my diagnostic testing. He said everything looks great, we just need to get me ovulating!
He gave me a Rx for more Provera (10mg for 5 days instead of the 5mg for 10 days like I'd been taking every other cycle), I took a HPT to confirm what I already knew (NOT pregnant), and I'll start the Rx tonight. I should expect my period sometime between next Thursday and the following Monday (5/13) and then I'll be starting 50 mg Clomid days 5-9 of the new cycle! I am praying I respond to the 50mg.

When we left the RE's today, my hubby gave me a big hug and was so pumped. I wasn't. I don't really know why though. Those exclamation points I wrote up there in the first paragraph are total lies. I should probably be happy and relieved that the only problem we seem to have (fingers crossed)  is that I don't O....right? Then why do I feel so numb about it? Why do I sort of feel like crying?

Maybe it's that I can't lie to myself anymore. Maybe it's that the whole infertility thing is real now.  I now have a medication sitting on my counter with paperwork that says it's use is "to treat infertility in women".  I guess I'm finally admitting to myself that I am dealing with infertility. For almost a year now I've just told myself that my hormones need to be regulated - that's all! Or, that we were just going through "testing" - Testing is easy!  But now I'm officially in the treatment phase. 
I don't know, it seems sort of stupid typing it all out. I guess it's just something I have to wrap my head around...

Rationally, I know it isn't a big deal - I'm just taking some pills and going to some monitoring appointments. There's no injections, no IUI or IVF, we're just doing timed intercourse.  There are so many women who are so much further along in this journey who would probably equate Clomid + TI to taking a break! It's not the action of actually taking the meds that is getting to me, it's what it signifies;

Brutal honesty? I'm scared. I am really scared that it isn't going to work - not this 1st round of Clomid specifically, but trying to treat my infertility in general. I am scared that I am now about to take the first official step that is going to lead me down a path that could end in NEVER being able to get pregnant.  I've seen it before - with BOTH of my sisters (one is CFNBC, one with SIF).  I am scared to death that it's going to happen to me too.  

However, there is no reason to think that way. I've already passed many of the hurdles my sisters faced that took them out of the running and I'm still going. Like some of the ladies on TB have said; "another woman's fertility has no effect on your own."  That's true. Granted, in this case we share genes, but that still doesn't mean that because they can't get pregnant (/get PG again) that I won't be able to have children.  Only time will tell, I guess.  In the meantime I will focus on the fact that I have had almost all good news so far. 
I have a plan, and I'm moving forward.  Wish me luck!