I got my bill for IVF today: ((drumroll please...)) $13,300. That's just for the ER, ET and time my embies spent in the lab and does not include all the monitoring bloodwork, ultrasounds, medications or OHSS testing. Holy fuck. I cannot tell you how grateful I am that my insurance covers a decent portion of this so that it was actually a feasible option for us financially. I also do not have the words to express how happy and grateful I am that it actually worked (I still cannot believe it)! Even though we don't have to pay the whole thing the bill still scares me and I'm making Hubs write the check so that I don't have to look at it again. And yes, I am a child.
Next!
I am SO anxious for our second ultrasound on Thursday morning (8 weeks). Today I've had slightly less morning sickness and a bit more energy so I, of course, contort that around in my twisted little brain and torment myself with the fear of a missed miscarriage. I am a crazy person; I am well aware of that. There's no reason for me to think that there is anything wrong but I guess it's my defense mechanism and I just can't let go yet.
On another note, I have a head cold. Fun! I can take Tylenol which does nothing for me, saline nose spray, cough drops, and Benadryl to break up all the post nasal drip upon which I have been choking and gagging for the last few days. I'm a babe. Soup, OJ and popsicles are my best friends and I am very thankful that I do not (yet) have a food aversion to any of them. I am hoping that the real reason for the recent increase in energy means that I'm on the upswing :-)
I wasn't sure it would be possible but I am actually starting to understand the pregnant women I used to want to kill who would complain about being sick. Then, I had to hold myself back from bashing their heads against the wall while screaming "DON'T YOU KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE YOU UNGRATEFUL BIATCH?!!?!", but now I'm beginning to get how much it can suck when you are sick and there's very little you can do about it. However, I do think that because of everything I went through to get to this point, I have a very different perspective on the potential tough parts of pregnancy compared to someone who tried oh-so-hard for all of 3 months and then got KU. (And yes, I have multiple individuals in mind with this one including that completely obnoxious blogger with the "fertility struggles" that Renee recently forwarded to us. I'm still annoyed about that.)
Anywho, I'm hoping my next post will contain a lovely picture of Pete! He'll be about the size of a raspberry at that point and there might even be little arm and leg nubs visible! :-D
I can't wait to see a picture Petey on your next post :) I hope you start to feel better soon, and hang in there dearie. You are allowed to feel how you feel. If that means you spend more time than you'd like worrying about the future, then so be it!! It's completely 100% what I'd be doing if I were in your shoes. I'm just happy that you have an incredible support system (including your DH, your family, your friends, the Dreamers, and of course, ahem, myself, lol!!). We're all here for you and no one thinks you're crazy for any of this! LOVE YOU!!!! Xoxo, Cici
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