Weight-loss Wednesday (Week 4)

Only a day late this week :-)  I'm not sure how much longer these weekly check in posts will last. Things are pretty busy around here. I might have to change to once a month.

Weight loss this week: 1.5 lbs

Total weight loss so far: 4.5 lbs

Highlights this week:

• Weight is back to where it was a couple weeks ago! I'm thinking maybe that weight "gain" last week was just a bad weigh-in and I'm more just maintaining instead of losing lately.
• The consistent back pain has mostly disappeared and now it's more just soreness and tiredness. I'm pretty sure I've officially healed from my latest back injury and am now just working on strengthening during PT. That's a very good thing.

Challenges this week:

• Very very busy!
• Still lots of people around, sometimes hard to plan healthy meals. (But I try when I can.)

Thoughts:  Looking forward to going out to CA tomorrow with Hubs for an extra long weekend! Gonna walk all over the city and get acquainted with my new stomping grounds. Exercise will be good!

Weight-loss Wednesday (Week 3)

...or Friday.

Oh right, I'm supposed to be losing weight. Forgot about that... Ugh, life just gets in the way! I don't know if other people are like this but for me, when I'm trying to lose weight I have to be almost obsessive about it. I have to be obsessed with food and thinking and planning all the time. When I can devote that amount of energy to it I can do well! And when I can't? Well...

Weight "loss" this week: +1.5 lbs

Weight loss so far: 3 lbs

Highlights this week: Ummm...made some better choices than I could have.

Challenges this week: Life. This has totally gone on the backburner. There is so much going on! So many people wanting to squeeze in lunches and visits and brunches and pool days before we move. Making good choices consistently has been hard.

Thoughts: We officially have a townhome in the San Francisco Bay Area. It's real now! Getting excited for this big change and I'm hopeful since we'll be in a new place I can avoid restarting bad eating habits.

Weight-loss Wednesday (Week 2)

Weight loss this week: 0.5 lbs

Total weight loss so far: 4.5 lbs

Highlights this week:

• Cravings are going away
• I'm already noticing the spare tire around my belly is shrinking

Challenges this week:

• My back sucks and hasn't gotten any better. The only "exercise" I can get is being in the pool. And even then I have to take it really easy. I'm still in PT three times a week.
• We had a lot of company this week that made meal planning harder than usual. I am good about planning dinners in advance for the week, ensuring I have leftovers for Jack and for lunches, and then doing my food shopping according to my weekly plan. But with people popping in a lot, that kinda went to shit this week. Honestly, that's how most of the summer tends to go though so maybe I need to focus on just making the best choices I can when I have the opportunity to make them.

Thoughts: A half pound weight loss is not super motivating but my overall in just 2 weeks is almost 5 pounds which is pretty great. I think I just need to focus on that.
Also, it's kind of neat that the last time I focused on losing weight (before I got PG with Jack), my biggest challenge was planning meals in advance and then cooking them. Now, that is no longer a challenge!  Once Jack came along I HAD to do that whether I wanted to or not and now I'm quite good at it! That should likely make my weight loss even easier this time around.

Week 2 is in the books!

Weight-loss Wednesday (Week 1)

Alrighty. I'm on board the weight loss train again.  And it's been a very successful first week!  More about that in a minute. First, some accountability:

Starting weight: 203 lbs (ugh)
First goal: 180 lbs
Final goal (maybe someday?): 155 lbs

I hate that I got over 200 again. I hate to say it but something about that number makes me feel bad about myself. Unfortunately it wasn't even seeing the scale hit my magical "you are fat" number that motivated me to start caring again: It's the fact that my back went out on me. Again.

It went out on me on the last day of June. My parents were already on their way up from Florida for the summer so luckily they arrived the very next day and could take care of Jack. I was OUT. As in: needed a walker/laying all day in bed/could barely wipe myself after using the bathroom kind of out. I was so thankful my parents were here and could take care of Jack as I slowly got better over the next week and a half and was able to do more things bit by bit. I was feeling better so I "released" my parents and just sort of assumed it was a fluke. But the following week it started getting bad on me again and one afternoon I was sitting on the floor playing with Jack and went to get up and I couldn't. I could barely move and I could tell (because I'd felt that feeling before) that if I DID move my back would go out on me again. It was SO SCARY. I was stuck there just praying that I would be able to keep Jack beside me and occupied long enough until my sister was able to come over after work to help me. I was scared to death he would crawl too far away from me and get into something or try to climb the stairs and I wouldn't be able to help him. THAT is the straw that broke the camel's back (or rather, my back, heh) and convinced me it's past time to do something about my weight.

Because the thing is, I was surprised to be having this back pain again. I hadn't had issues the last 3 months since I "graduated" from physical therapy, I was feeling pretty good physically, I was even back into zumba every week again!  BUT, I was also eating like crap again. I did not care what went into my mouth and I had gained about 5 lbs over the last few months.  If it wasn't the weight gain that caused my back to go out, I don't know what it was.  And I can NOT chance feeling so scared and vulnerable like that again if I have the power to stop it. Since apparently, I haven't felt like I am a good enough reason for me to take better care of myself physically, I have to do it for Jack. He needs a mom who can take care of him and run around and play with him without having to worry her body is going to give out on her.  And since we're moving soon to a place where I won't have a sister or a mother in law or a friend I can just call up and say "I need you to come over right now", it is even more important for me to do everything within my power to keep that from ever happening again.

SO, here we go with check in #1!


WEEK 1 CHECK IN

Weight loss this week: 4 lbs!

Total weight loss so far: 4 lbs

Highlights this week:

• Highly motivated. 
• Joined MyFitnessPal again and am back to tracking everything I eat. Goals are keeping calories at 1500 per day, sugar and sodium intake low, and eating enough fiber and protein.
• Back under 200 lbs again already :-)

Challenges this week:

• Sugar detox.  That's never fun.  
• My back really limits any kind of physical activity right now beyond normal daily movement. The physical therapist told me I have a herniated disc and also one of my legs/hips was out of alignment which shifted all my vertebrae. She was able to put me back in alignment but I'll still have to nurse this herniated disc for a while through PT twice a week for the forseeable future. Once my back is stronger again I'll be able to add exercise in veeeery slowly. That's frustrating.

Thoughts: I realize that 4 lbs in a week is a fluke because it's likely more water weight than anything but I don't care; it's good motivation. Seeing that scale back into the 190s so quickly is very helpful for me. I'm looking forward to this next week too and seeing that total weight loss number grow.

Weight-loss Check in: Week 3

Weight loss this week: 1.5 lbs (7 lbs total, 13 to go!) I'm already a third of the way to my goal!!

Healthy eating highlights: For the last 3 weeks I've been logging everything I eat and have been making a point to also highlight the times I make conscious healthy choices when what I actually want is something unhealthy. (For example: The other day I was really craving key lime pie [random!] but instead of getting one at the grocery store I convinced myself to buy more citrus and squeezed lemon & lime into my water and ate clementines to cure the craving! Definitely not the same thing but it worked enough to squash the craving for that day and now it's gone!) Seeing those healthy choices highlighted helps me remember how proud of myself I was when I made those choices and how I know I can do it again when my willpower starts to wane.

Also, I have seriously cut down on sugar. Some sugar is unavoidable (unless you eat like a rabbit, which I do not) but I've cut out most added sugar and sweets.  Last weekend I went out to brunch with some girlfriends and had a mimosa which was delightful. The blood sugar crash, however, was not delightful.  About 2 hrs later I was tired and crabby and craving ice cream like a mo-fo. I pushed through the craving and was fine after that but it certainly taught me a lesson!

Exercise highlights: Still goin' strong. I've noticed I have more stamina during cardio sessions and am disappointed now when it's time for the cool-down. I also went up a level in dumbbell size when strength training :-)  Tomorrow I have the day off and am looking forward to a long hike.

Amazing news:  I had an appt with my PCP this morning about my blood pressure. My RE won't move forward on a FET until my PCP gives the go-ahead (which is okay since I'm still not emotionally ready for a FET anyway). When I started this weight loss plan my BP was 144/90. Just three weeks later it is 120/82. HOORAY! I am so freakin' proud of myself. I did Zumba this morning with a huge smile on my face the entire time :-D

My doctor will be recommending to my RE that I move forward with fertility treatments as soon as I'm ready which is great news. I still plan to work towards my goal of a 20 lb weight loss before we go back for a FET though (and am still keeping my FX hard that we might have the chance to be blessed with a miracle BFP on our own [today is 6DPO!]).

Weight-loss Check in: Week 2

Weight loss this week: 1.5 lbs (5.5 lbs total, 14.5 to go!)

Healthy eating highlights: Since I love charts I made myself a weekly meal planning chart to help me plan lunches and dinners in advance so I don't end up in the position of being starving with no idea what to eat and then just getting takeout.  It has been extremely helpful!

Exercise highlights: I tried a new class at my gym this week: Step Zumba. It's a combo of Step Aerobics and Zumba and should more accurately be called 'Zumba on Steroids'. It KICKED MY ASS. To the point where I could barely get my arms and legs to function enough to drive home after class.  It was awesome :-D The catch is that I have to basically sneak out of work early (like, 3pm early) on those days in order to get home in time to make it to class. So that's a bummer.  I'll go when I can though! 

Other shtuff: It was great to step on the scale this week and see that I am back in the 100s so quickly! Yay me. I have my appt with my PCP next Thursday so I am happy that when they weigh me in I should be in the 100s even with clothes on :-)

This week I put together the below visual weight loss motivator for myself (thanks Pinterest!). The jar on the left represents each pound I still have to lose and as each pound disappears I get to transfer a glass rock over to the "gone!" jar!  I think it will be neat to see my weight loss in a concrete way.

Lastly, Hubs commented the other day that he can already tell that I'm losing weight. Yay!

Weight-loss Check in: Week 1

Weight loss this week: 4 lbs! (4 lbs total, 16 to go!)

Healthy eating highlights: I did great with eating healthy this week. I made some dinners which I *hate* doing, but it was okay because it gave me lots of leftovers for other meals! 

Exercise highlights: Tuesday's Zumba class was canceled, which I found out via a flimsy piece of paper taped to the locked gym door so since I was already in workout clothes I decided to go for a long walk then came home and did some strength training. Yay me. 

Goals for upcoming week:

• 3 Zumba classes + at least 2 days strength training
• Keep up the healthy eating and cooking dinners!

Thoughts:I'm proud of myself for getting back into the swing of healthy eating so quickly and already making progress. I know that 4 lbs in a week is a fluke and is likely water weight but it's good motivation anyway. I am looking forward to being back in the 100's when I step on the scale next week!

Good news & new plan

Good news - I heard from my RE's nurse and I do NOT need surgery to remove my ute blobs! HOORAAAAAH!!!

So now that I don't have to worry about that, all I need to do is lose some weight and hope that it lowers my blood pressure. I do still have to meet with my PCP for a check-up to see what she says but even if she suggests giving me high BP meds I am pretty sure I'm going to refuse and ask for the chance to lower it myself through diet & exercise.

So, it looks like I'm back to focusing on my health and posting weekly health check-ins!  
Accountability time:

Starting weight: 204.5
Goal weight: 184.5 

I would, of course, love to lose more than that but this is the current goal because the nurse suggested losing 20 lbs and then seeing where we are with moving forward with the FET. Based on past weight loss I think I'm looking at approx 3 months of hard work to get there.

As an adult, this is the heaviest I have ever been and the smallest was 130 (I looked sickly at that weight) but I do remember 155 feeling like a perfect healthy, happy weight for me so I would love to get back there again at some point.  That would be a 50lb weight loss which feels overwhelming to me right now so I am going to stick with this current goal of 20lbs and see how I do.  
I have to say, I hate looking at that number: 204.5. I told myself last year when I saw the scale hit 200 for the first time ever that I would never let myself see that number again unless I was pregnant. Well, I saw it again when I was pregnant and now I'm still there even though I am no longer pregnant. Time to make a change so I can get healthier, lower my BP and start feeling good about myself again.

Yesterday I threw out all junk food and white bread in the house then Iwent grocery shopping and got a bunch of healthy foods. I also cooked dinner last night and made a plan for the next few nights. I am really proud of myself for that one. I hate cooking and for some reason, planning meals in advance is the bane of my existence.  That will be the biggest challenge for me but I'm starting out on a good foot.

I'll do an official health check-in post next week! 

Or.....not.

My last blog post was titled "Messy and uncertain but moving forward".  Mmmm, not so much. It looks like we're benched.

I've visited the RE twice since that last post. The first time I met with the dr. for baseline B/W, discussed what happened with my pregnancy and surgery and determined next steps on moving forward with a FET.

The second time I met with the RE was yesterday. I went in for a hysteroscopy and he found polyps still left in my uterus. He said it's possible I will need surgery to remove them depending on the location and that he needs to take a closer look at the pics and video to see for sure. I should be finding out this afternoon whether or not I will need surgery. They also discovered yesterday that I now have high blood pressure. It was 144/90. I have never had high BP before. It has always been perfect or even a tad bit low so this is new for me. The nurse took my BP (twice) when I was in last week too but said it was likely elevated because of the anxiety of being back there again. Unfortunately that doesn't seem to be the case. The doc wants me to go see my PCP to get checked out. He expects they will tell me to lose weight (I'm 10 lbs heavier than I was when I started IVF) and that they might want to put me on medication for it. (No thank you, I do not want to take more meds.)  I will also need to meet with someone in Maternal Fetal Medicine to discuss the risks of getting pregnant right now with high BP as it increases the risk of Pre-Eclampsia.  

::sigh::  I'm starting to fall into pity party mode. I know I brought the BP thing on myself with my extra weight gain but jesus! It's only 10 lbs!  Between leftover baby weight and deep depression over everything we've been through I am proud of myself that I didn't gain 3 times that amount! I exercise regularly and don't eat horribly (both of which I have to work at) but I guess the fact is I will just have to suck it up and put myself on a diet. It is what it is. I can take responsibility for that. 

But the thought of another surgery... that is a bit of a nightmare for me right now. Even just going in for the procedure yesterday was tough. For some reason I felt more...violated yesterday than I have since I first started seeing the RE at the beginning of 2013. Now it's not so easy for me to just detach from what's happening during a procedure - I can't force myself to think about the errands I have to run and what to make for dinner. Instead, I am acutely, painfully aware that the last time I saw my uterus my precious baby was growing inside of it and the last time a doctor entered my cervix it was to rip him/her out of it. Most women have no knowledge of any of this. Most women make love to their husbands, discover their periods should have come the week before, take a test, rejoice, go through 9 healthy months of pregnancy and then deliver perfect babies.  Not me. Not us.

I held it together in the doctor's office but cried on the way home. I am just sad and disappointed and I guess frustrated.  I really had to work to get to a place where I felt okay to move forward and start TTC again and now that I'm there I'm told we need to wait again. I hadn't realized how important it was to me to have a plan and a timeline and something to look forward to. It's so frustrating feeling like you're just at the mercy of the shifting winds. I'm sick of telling myself to be patient and have faith.  I'm tired.

I really appreciate all the love on Facebook from my IDOB ladies. I know I haven't been around much but I so appreciate you still caring and offering support when I need it the most. <3

Health Check in: Week 6

Weight loss this week: nada (well technically I lost another pound but then I gained it back)

Total weight loss so far: 8 lbs

Best health moment of the week: I'm down a notch on my belt!

Goals for upcoming week:

• Try a new exercise class at the gym
• Keep trying for at least 6000 steps per day minimum
• Make at least 1 better food choice per day than I feel like making (aka: don't give in to temptation)

Thoughts: I've lost motivation. I didn't log my food into MFP for the majority of this week. I also forgot to wear my FitBit a lot of the time and didn't even bother logging in later to make the appropriate adjustments.  
I need someone to kick my ass to get back on the bandwagon.  Oh, hai Dr. Phil...

Okay, okay, some REAL motivation:

Health Check In: Week 5

*When I first posted about joining MFP and eating better, my weight was exactly 198 lbs. However, I'd already lost 2 lbs at that point so I should have just started at 200 because this is getting too confusing with the MFP numbers vs. the real ones. With this post I'm just combining them and will go with the real numbers (starting from 200) moving forward. Plus it's easier to do the math that way :-)

And speaking of math:
Weight loss this week: 1 lb

Total weight loss so far: would have been 6 lbs, actually 8 lbs total

Best health moment of the week: My clothes are so much more comfortable now. I don't feel the immediate need to change and lose the bra the second I get home from work.

Goals for upcoming week:

• Join a gym 
• Keep trying for at least 6000 steps per day minimum

Thoughts: I'm used this now. For the first few weeks, eating well and making good choices was constantly on my mind. Now it feels like this the default and 'treats' are few and far between which is the way it should be!

Health Check In: Week 4

Weight loss this week: +0.5 lb (boooo) 

Total weight loss so far: 5 lbs 

Best health moment of the week: I hit 18,500 steps one day this week! (that's almost 8 miles!) Also, my hubby said he's really starting to see a difference in my body so maybe that half pound increase is not such a big deal. 

Goals for upcoming week: 

• Focus more on eating healthfully; Eat more veggies, less white flour/sugar and keep total cals under 1500
• Take 6,000 steps MINIMUM per day, strive for 8,000

Thoughts:  Hubs and I threw a huge Fourth of July party last weekend. It was a blast but it meant that this week our house was full of leftover junk food. I knew I should have thrown in out but instead I chose to be a piglet and eat most of it (hence the weight gain). I know that I can't keep those kinds of foods in the house without eating them but because the first half of this week was so difficult for me IF-wise, I made bad food choices and overate.
BTW, did you know there is a perfect (and amusing) German word for that?:

Grief-bacon. Heh.

All the crap is gone now but I have not shifted my focus back to eating healthfully as quickly as I should have so I really need to do that. I've lost a little motivation and I need to get it back! I think I'm going to look into fitness classes at the nearby gym. I haven't been there yet but I always love classes - it's just a matter of getting the motivation to try it once and then I'm usually hooked.

Health Check In: Week 3

Weight loss this week: 1.5 lbs

Total weight loss so far: 5.5 lbs

Best health moment of the week: Realizing I am feeling much better in general and sleeping better too most nights.

Goals for upcoming week: 

• Don't overeat during Fourth of July Party tomorrow
• Take 6,000 steps MINIMUM per day, strive for 8,000
• Plan 2 dinners in advance this week

Thoughts: Starting this week I'm setting more realistic and specific goals because I have not been meeting my old goals.
Also, I love MFP. If you are thinking about trying to eat better/lose weight, I highly recommend it!

Health Check in: Week 2

Weight loss this week: 1.5 lb

Total weight loss so far: 4 lbs

Best health moment of the week: Talking with the nutritionist about my diet and learning I am doing all the right things, I just need to keep it up!

Goals for next week: 

• MOAR EXERCISE! 
• Plan meals in advance then go food shopping and actually cook them.

Thoughts: This is going well!  I realize I may be slightly obsessed but I guess overall it's a good thing to get obsessed with.  Beats being obsessed with (not) Oing...

Today's Appt with Nutritionist

I had my appt with the Nutritionist today. It went really well!  Because I'm using MFP I already have a list of everything I've eaten for the last 2 weeks which she reviewed and confirmed that I'm doing all the right things. Yay me! 

She also told me that I do NOT need to be on a vegan diet (yet another black mark for my incompetent PCP - check out this old blog post if you want more details) so I am stoked! She gave me a ton of helpful info including lists of foods (best sources of soluble fiber, foods highest in saturated fat, etc.) and also stuff about how to eat for PCOS! All super helpful!

She also sent me home with some websites to check out:

• nutritionsource.org 
• fooducate.com - website to look up nutritional content of all foods
• fortheloveoffood.org - her own website with recipes
• Dean Ornish's Eat More Weigh Less cookbook  - mostly vegan recipes

Finally, she said I should think about looking into "plant sterols" to help lower my LDL (bad cholesterol) since I can't be on meds while TTC. Apparently it's difficult to get the recommended 2g per day so many people take a capsule or Benecol chews but she said I should talk to my RE first before taking anything to ensure they don't interact with the fertility meds. Has anyone every heard anything before about plant sterols? 

(If I start taking these my metamorphosis into a 60-yr old man will be almost complete!)

Overall I feel really good about today! I'm happy that I've been doing all the right things and feel motivated.  Now I just need to plan more, cook more, and get more exercise.
I can do that!

Health Check in: Week 1

Well, I got through the first week and it's been really good! Weight loss total equals (drum roll please): 2.5 lbs! Yahoo!

Joining MyFitnessPal has been great - I log in absolutely everything I eat which I thought would be really annoying but it's actually been good. They make it very easy since they have a huge database and I also downloaded the IPhone app so that I can just do it on the fly. It also makes me think before just popping something into my mouth because I have to ask myself if it's really worth the hassle of having to log it.  

I love that MFP keeps running totals throughout the day of your Cals, Carbs, Fat, Protein, Sodium & Sugar along with your target numbers so I can see how much more I'm "allowed" to eat after dinner so I can plan accordingly. One of my biggest issues was night-time snacking and this has totally solved that problem for me since I see it as a challenge to keep the numbers under the target each day (except for protein).  The biggest eye-opener for me regarding diet was the amount of sugar I had been eating!  There is seriously sugar in EVERYTHING. The target per day is 30g which is nearly impossible - I hit that number just with fruits and cereal most days! I've been focusing on lowering the sugar intake and I've had headaches the last 2 days because I think I'm going through sugar detox!

Regarding exercise, I bought a Fitbit which is like a pedometer but better. It's little and cute and it counts steps, distance, how many "very active" mins I had that day, and how many calories I burned all day (even when not exercising).  It syncs with my laptop wirelessly so that I don't have to log in anything AND it connects with MFP so whatever extra cals I burn that day are automatically added onto my "target total" in MFP so I know that I can eat more and still reach my goal for the day.

I believe I heard that you're supposed to strive for 10,000 steps per day - I did not reach that this week but came very close yesterday and have been able to keep it above 7K every other day. It was an eye-opener to see how few steps I take on days when I'm in the office so I now know that I should plan for designated exercise on those days.

Ok, I'll shut up now and post the overview. Thanks for reading!

Weight loss this week: 2.5 lbs

Best health moment of the week: Put on a shirt this morning that I wore a week ago and didn't see a muffin top through it today!

Goals for next week: 

1. Continue healthy eating - focus on lowering sugar intake (try for under 50g each day)
2. Work on planning dinners in advance
3. More planned exercise instead of just random walking/playing with the pup 

Hello accountability!

If you read my last post, you know that I'm now officially getting serious with diet and exercise so that I can try to naturally bring down my high cholesterol/triglyceride levels (so that we don't have to stop TTC indefinitely until meds can bring down the numbers).

Therefore, I signed up for MyFitnessPal (MFP) and will be tracking everything I eat and all exercise. I'm hoping that posting my progress here may help me stick to it!

And so, in the spirit of accountability, I'm letting it all hang out:

Height: 5'5"
Starting Weight: 198
Weight Loss Goal: -1 lb /week
Exercise Goal: 3 cardio sessions + 2 strength training /week

With these goals, MFP set my daily calorie limit at 1500 which I think is very attainable. The last two days have come in a couple hundred under that total and with the added exercise, the program calculated that I'll lose closer to 2 lbs a week if I continue in this way.  

It will be interesting to see if my PCOS has an effect on this since supposedly it's harder to lose weight with PCOS with the insulin resistance and all. Web MD says: "When you have PCOS, shedding just 10% of your body weight can bring your periods back to normal". I'll let you know in 20 lbs if that's true or not. FX!

And I do want to lose weight of course, but this is really more about improving my cholesterol/ triglyceride numbers and eating heart-healthy foods whenever possible so I am less worried about the caloric intake and more about the kinds of foods I'm eating. I'm meeting with a nutritionist on the 26th to make a plan so we'll see if that changes the MFP goals or not.

I'm kind of excited! Is that weird? Probably.

I'm thinking maybe every Friday (or every other) I'll do a quick health check-in post to keep myself accountable.  I also added that handy-dandy weight-loss tracker over on the right side of the blog that links to MFP so that I can't hide even if I don't post an update :-)

I can't wait to look like a Shar Pei!

Apparently I'm a 60 yr old man

Yesterday I met with my PCP for a Pap (always a good time) and to get the results of my repeat b/w checking cholesterol/triglycerides.  The results were not good.

Last November I had my numbers checked for the first time and they came back really high. The doc wanted to put me on medication (Statins) but we are TTC and Statins are category X which means they would likely cause birth defects and/or loss and the risk would outweigh any positive benefits. So with the blessing (and cautions) from my doc, I opted to instead focus on diet and exercise over the next 6 months and then we'd recheck the numbers.  Also, since high cholesterol is linked to PCOS, I had hoped the daily 1500mg of Metformin for the last 3 months would have had a positive effect. It didn't. My numbers yesterday were almost identical to 6 months ago.

She deduced that since I have been doing everything right and I'm young and otherwise healthy, the high cholesterol is very likely hereditary. I know it definitely runs in the family; grandparents on both sides of my family died of heart attacks and strokes, and when I told my Dad about my results last November he casually slipped into the conversation that HE has dangerously high numbers too. How nice of him to not bother to tell any of his children this so we could get tested. Grrr.

So the dr. gave me three options moving forward:

1.) Stop TTC and take Statins for an indeterminate amount of time until my levels are in a healthy range. No idea how long it would be until we could start TTC again.

I would like a child with 1 head please.

2.) Keep TTC and go on a non-Statin med called Niacin which is category C, aka: there has not been enough testing done on humans to determine the effects on a developing fetus but there were negative effects seen with animals.
 
3.) Keep TTC, seriously overhaul my diet, hope that it works to naturally bring my levels down a bit, and hope that I get KU soon so that I can go on meds after the baby is born.

Ugh.
I do NOT want to stop TTC right now.  It's taken a full year just to determine what's going wrong. We've finished the testing and we're JUST starting treatments (I still haven't had even 1 chance in all this time to actually conceive!) so I decided that #1 is not an option right now.

Re: #2: My dr. said that I have "the cholesterol of a 60 year old man" (thanks Dad!) and since "levels like these are rarely seen in young women of child-bearing age so there have been very few studies done on the effects of Niacin on developing fetuses", I don't trust the Niacin. I'm not interested in being a guinea pig so #2 is out.

Therefore, I've decided to go with #3 and hope for the best. The doc said I should seriously consider a vegan diet (there is no way I would willingly do that unless I HAVE to) so I'll be meeting with a Nutritionist in about 2 weeks to create a specific food plan so I know that I am being as healthy as I can possibly be during this time.  I will also need to get more serious about an exercise regimen (right now I just exercise a couple times a week when I feel like it). And I went food shopping and stocked up on fruits, veggies, lean meat and whole grains.

Wow, this is going to be fun. {/sarcasm font}

Wish me luck.

That's me on the right, eating my heart-healthy Fiber One!

Losing weight

Trying to lose weight SUCKS.  I know I can do it since I've done it before but it seriously sucks. Particularly when you have PCOS and your body is fighting against you every step of the way. 

When I got my blood test results back in Nov and learned that I have high cholesterol & triglycerides it made me get serious about getting healthy for like 3 weeks. I was getting more active, I was making good food decisions, I was keeping a food log, and I had lost 6 lbs.  Then the holidays hit. Then I took a mini-vacation with friends.  Then I just got lazy. Now here I am, a little more than 1 month after stopping all that and I stepped on the scale today. Gained 7 lbs.  Awesome.

I think normal people have to work to gain that much weight in one month. For me, it seems like all I have to do it eat a couple oreos and drink a bottle of wine and it happens. Sometimes I wonder why the hell I even bother trying but then I put on my largest pair of jeans (the ones I have lovingly named "fat jeans") and find that even they are getting tight. Oiy.  When that super sexy fat roll can't be hidden anymore with a loose fitting shirt it is officially time for a change!

Impossible.  She's skinny.

So I have started up my food log again and will ease back into exercise.  Eating better is the hard part mentally since sugar is my BFF but exercise is the hard part physically since I have a bad back.  I'm always afraid that one wrong move will put me flat on my back for the next month (seriously, that's happened more than once), or that I will end up looking like this lovely lady to the right ------->


I know I need to just suck it up and do it though because it's not just about being a certain pants size -  losing weight could help me ovulate naturally, which I desperately want to happen.  I also really want to be as healthy as possible when I'm pregnant so that my baby will be healthy, and I'll have an safer/easier pregnancy.  Finally, I need to focus on lowering my cholesterol & triglyceride levels so that I have a healthy heart.  There should be no reason to worry about that at 31 yrs old.

It all makes sense when I type it out but these reasons tend to fly out the window the second I walk into the kitchen at work and there's a delectable plate of cookies staring me in the face.  That's why I'm going to back to the food log.  It doesn't mean I'm going to eat perfectly all the time but at least I'll be conscious of the decisions I'm making and will be aware of everything that's going into my mouth.  

I started off on the right foot with a healthy day yesterday (even if I did skip Zumba so I could hump it out with hubby. But technically that's still exercise, right?)!