37 weeks - full term!

Well technically today is 36w6d but eh, who cares? When you're already measuring at 42 weeks (!!!) I'm thinking one day doesn't make a difference at this point.

Funny story: Yesterday I had a dr appt and since I'm a house and can't breathe or move now (haha) I took the elevator the one flight up to my OB's office.  Another woman who happened to be massively obese joined me in there (like, really really large; needed oxygen, had a walker, etc.). As she got into the elevator she looked me up and down and said "You're huge!"  LOL! Ok then. Thanks, lady.

I really do look like I have twins in there now.

Weight gain: +19-20 lbs

Belly button: She's poppin'!  Half in and half out at this point :-)

Symptoms: Do I really need to mention how sore and uncomfortable I am? Look at me! 
Good news though is that acid reflux is mostly under control now thanks to 150mg Zantac twice a day.  And unfortunately, I developed a head cold over the past week which was miserable. But luckily it was short lived and is mostly gone now, thank goodness. I cannot imagine how awful it would feel to be in labor when your head weighs a million pounds, you can't breathe, and you are coughing and snotting all over yourself.   

Updates:  So as I said I had an appt yesterday. They did a BPP (Biophysical profile) which consists of a bunch of measures via ultrasound which ensure the baby's heart is fine, he's practicing "breathing" in there, has proper movements and muscle tone and is just ok in general and not in distress. He passed with flying colors!  They also measured my amniotic fluid levels again (it remained the same as last week - very high) and the circumference of his head (it grew just a tiny bit, still in the 97th %ile). Afterwards we met with the high risk OB to discuss the good results, get measured (I'm now measuring another week up, at 42 weeks, yikes) and talk about next steps.  

Our biggest concern right now is where I should plan to deliver. The hospital I was going to be at (and LOVE) only has a special care nursery and not a high level NICU.  Right now the docs *think* our son has Achondroplasia which would mean everything *should* be fine upon birth but they can't rule out other types of dwarfism that are more serious until after he's born. Therefore we could think everything's fine and then oh shit, he ends up breaking bones during delivery, or we find that he has too much compression in his spinal column and requires surgery immediately upon birth...  Overall the docs don't *think* that will happen but they also gave us a disclaimer that they aren't 100% sure. Now, I'm all for optimism and am really hoping it's Achon and there will be no major health issues but when does banking on optimism become reckless? Wouldn't it be smarter to already be at a hospital that is equipped to deal with those potential issues should they arise vs. having our little guy have to be transferred somewhere (and the two of us likely separated)?

The other thing we want to know from the doctors is if it would be safer to just schedule a c-section at this point. Again, since they really don't know what we're dealing with and if his head keeps growing it might be fruitless to try to push him through my pelvis and I'd just exhaust myself and likely do major damage to my ladybits just to have to be wheeled in for an emergency CS anyway... It just seems like a whole lot to go through if it's just going to have the same result in the end. (AND, if the docs are wrong and our son has OI trying to push him out vaginally could be really dangerous for him.)  I don't know. I really don't know anything.  I don't know what is best, I don't know how much the doctors actually know or are just saying they know, I don't know what is being smart and what is being overly-cautious...

But we really need answers to these questions NOW since I could go into labor at any time. We really can't pussyfoot around with this (yes, I said pussyfoot) because if my water breaks we need to know which direction to drive in and what to expect/what to tell the hospital!
::sigh::
Sometimes I think it would have been easier/better if we never even knew about his dwarfism until he was born. It's just making me crazy since we have no answers. BUT, if we decide to switch hospitals just to be safe and he really DOES end up needing serious help then it will all have been worth it.

Okay now I'm just rambling.  You can probably see that everything is just swirling around in my mind with no resolutions.  Luckily, the plan was for the docs to all speak to one another today and I should be hearing from one of them this evening on the consensus, or at least on their discussion and then maybe it's up to me and Hubs to make the decisions.  
One good thing (I guess) about this being so rare is that we are an "interesting case" to them so everyone's talking about us!

I've been doing lots of research on dwarfism and have joined facebook groups and made connections with other moms and gotten all kinds of info. THAT I am grateful for.  But this has definitely taken over my life. Reading about medical issues and all the different types of doctors he will need to see, and where the specialists are in the country, and what to expect, and what can go wrong... it's just a LOT. I wish I could close my eyes and wake up on the day after I give birth to a healthy little boy with Achon so that there's no more questioning, no more decisions to be made, no more waiting, no more worrying.  I just want him to be here in my arms now, and healthy.

Anyway, I'll end on a good note.  Yesterday during the BPP the tech offered us a 3D U/S.  It made my heart skip a beat as I considered whether or not to say yes because, as superficial as it sounds, I have been very worried about how our little guy looks. Now that we know he has dwarfism I know he will look different.  It sounds so stupid and I hate myself a little for even letting this enter my mind but even though he will be short - he will be a dwarf - I still really hope his face will be "normal".  That has been what has made me cry over the past week - the thought that he might be seen as ugly. It's one thing to have the added challenges your whole life due to being a little person but it is something else to be a little person who people see as funny looking or ugly or scary or something else negative.  Anyway, I said I was ending on a good note so here's the good part: We agreed to see the 3D U/S and it was such a relief.  He looks beautiful.  He looks like a perfectly normal chubby little newborn with big cheeks and my husband's nose and a sweet little chin...  Both Hubs and I broke down crying when we saw him. It was a good moment.

Here's a little wave from our little guy: Jack. We've named him Jack after his grandpa.
I cannot wait to meet him.

Anatomy Scan 2.0!

Today's scan went well! As you may know, we had an early anatomy scan during week 17 but at that point the doc wasn't able to see everything in the heart so today we had Part 2 to confirm everything was good there. And it is :-) Baby boy's heart looks perfect, the choroid plexus cysts in his brain are disappearing, and he's measuring right on schedule!  Yay! 
Unfortunately, we did confirm today that our baby only has 1 kidney. But in the broad scheme of things, that is totally fine. Plenty of people live normal lives with only 1 kidney - maybe our son will just play golf instead of football.  The good news is that the one kidney looks to be strong. I am just so so RELIEVED.

Today is the first day I actually thought to myself (and then said out loud): Holy crap - WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A BABY.  

We are going to have a baby. A little boy.  A little healthy baby boy.  And we're going to get to bring him home. And we're finally going to be a family :'-)  

It's hard for me to feel confident in saying and thinking these things but overall I am just so happy. I'm finally feeling good and positive and hopeful and happy and excited.  I'm finally focusing on my rainbow now and not just on my loss and sadness. I am so thankful.

Today's the first time I got to see 3D ultrasound pics.  Baby boy had his hand/arm up in front of his face almost the whole time so this is the best they could do but I love it. Seeing him this way makes it feel more real. He's no longer just an outline, he's a baby.  OUR baby. And I am so in love with him.  He has Hubs' nose. I cannot wait to kiss it.

Also, I realized it's been a couple weeks since I posted a bump pic, so here ya go (from a few days ago):

As you can see I definitely popped over the last few weeks.  No doubt anymore that I am pregnant. So this past weekend I decided to just go with it and took myself on a little maternity clothes shopping spree :-)  This is the first time I've actually worn maternity shirts and people are right: they make the bump look much cuter! I'm so happy to now have clothes that both fit and are comfy!

Happy Thanksgiving on Thursday to all my fellow American friends!  I plan to wear my roomiest maternity pants so I can EAT ALL THE THINGS!!!   We will be revealing the pregnancy to all my in-laws this day too so it should be exciting :-)

Besides that, Thursday will also be 19 weeks 6 days for me which is the exact day we said goodbye to Petey back in March :-(  I'm glad I'll have Thanksgiving to help distract me from that milestone.  It is the last milestone.  I'm ready for it.


And last but CERTAINLY not least:  My wonderful friend Cici, who has supported me and SO many others through IF, found out today SHE IS PREGNANT.  I cannot even generate cohesive words to express how unbelievably HAPPY this makes me. Just happy tears leaking out all day today... Cici - I love you!!! Congratulations my dear. No one could deserve this more.  :'-)  <3

Florida, Reveals, and Therapy (19 wks)

Hi! I'm now into my 19th week and have a lot to update on! (Warning: Long one)

First, physically I am doing okay. I think I'm finally starting to get a little of the 2nd Tri energy I've heard so much about so that's pretty awesome. I still have the constant nausea though so I'm still on Zofran daily. Thankfully it works most of the time but then there are times like the other night when I ended up puking on the bathroom floor because I couldn't get out of bed and to the toilet quickly enough. Ugh.  

I also had my first awful calf cramp in the middle of the night earlier this week. THAT was a treat.  I shot up straight in bed out of a dead sleep like I had been tasered. My leg was hard as a rock and hurt SO F-ING BADLY.  I had no idea what to do - I couldn't really reach it very well to massage it and half the time massaging seemed to help and the other half it made it worse so I just sort of writhed around in pain attempting to relax the muscle and not die.  The pain started to subside so I thought it was over but a few seconds later it came back with a vengeance and I couldn't help screaming and gasping in pain. I scared the shit out of Hubs who likely thought I was in early labor and he jumped out of bed and sort of ran around the room in the dark in confusion, haha. I tried it tell him it was just my leg but I couldn't really get the words out since I was gasping and flopping around like a psycho with my face mushed into the blankets. It was quite the scene at 4am I tell you.  He came around to my side and massaged it for me and tried to get me to stretch and flex... it took a very long time to get it back to the point where I felt it might be okay to try to go back to bed again but it stayed uncomfortable and tight the rest of the night and I could tell it was on the verge of spasming again. That was Wed night. It's now Saturday and my leg STILL hurts. Crazy. I am drinking water and milk and eating bananas like there's no tomorrow (apparently hydration, calcium & potassium can help) in the hopes that that doesn't happen again.

In other news, still no movement felt yet.  I really hope to feel something soon! I know baby will be even harder for me to feel since I have an anterior placenta but I'm getting a little antsy. I like when I can differentiate things between this pregnancy and the last pregnancy because it reminds me that just because bad things happened last time it doesn't mean they will this time, but at this point with Petey I still couldn't feel him either. FX it happens soon.

Also, I'm officially gaining weight now! I'm up 2 pounds and am strangely proud of myself. Remind me of this when I am over 200 again and want to cry.


Second, I went to Florida earlier this week!  I'm so glad I did.  I got to reveal the pregnancy to my parents (and 2 sets of aunts and uncles who live down there too) and it was really fun.

(I also finally got to see a beautiful gulf coast sunset for the first time which I was hoping to do :-) 

Purdy.

~~~STORYTIME~~~ (sorry if you're on SAIF and have already heard this)

So when we landed my dad and uncle picked us (me, my sister, and baby boy!) up from the airport and I got big hugs and funny looks immediately. I could see them both glance down at my belly but pretend they hadn't. While they asked about our flights and joked about the fact that we were dressed for 20 degree Boston weather not 80 degree Florida weather and loaded luggage into the car I was mean and didn't say anything about the obvious elephant in the room. Finally I let them off the hook just before we climbed in the car and said: "So. Notice anything different about me?" while I motioned to my belly.  A huge look of relief came over both their faces and my dad said: "Yeah! You swallowed a basketball!" Hahaha!  We all hugged and my uncle shook my dad's hand saying "Congratulations Grampa!" It was pretty cute. Dad was all questions on the way back to the house about how everything's been going, how far along I am, when I'm due, etc. It was obvious he was really happy.
As we pulled up to the house and got out of the car my mom and aunt were coming down the driveway to greet us with big smiles.  I was holding a bag over my belly and as they got closer I said: "I hope you don't mind that I brought someone else with us".  A look of confusion crossed their faces and then I took the bag away and they FREAKED OUT.  They both screamed and started skipping/running/bouncing down the rest of the driveway to come swarm us with hugs. They were both bawling and laughing and just so so excited and happy. Once they ran out of people to hug they just started hugging each other and jumping around and crying and shrieking. It was hilarious. I SO wish I had gotten it on video!  They were just so happy and it was a really good feeling and now a really good memory.  
Later, I gave them this present (wrapped in both pink and blue) to let them know that they'll be having a little grandson :-)

It was really nice to be able to tell them in person. We'll be telling my in-laws later this week on Thanksgiving too. I'm not sure yet how we'll reveal that it's a boy. I did buy another one of these picture frames in case I want to do the same thing but now I'm wondering if maybe I should bake a blue cake or something. I'm still undecided but I'm sure whatever we do will be exciting.  My parents already have other grandchildren but this will be my in-laws' first grandbaby so I expect lots of tears and happiness.


Next: I've been going to therapy appointments for the last couple weeks and haven't had a chance to write about them yet. I think they are really helping.  I like this therapist. She isn't one to just sit and listen to me talk, instead it's like more of a conversation. And she asks helpful probing questions that make me think and also gives me homework every week which I like!  Last week's homework was to let myself feel some excitement around this pregnancy and to start to share it with others. When I went in for my appt this week and told her I actually ended up flying to Florida and revealed to my parents she was kind of dumbfounded and joked about me going for extra credit. LOL!  The timing just happened to work out to spontaneously make the trip though and it definitely helped me start to feel excitement about this baby.  Now that I'm finally reaching my milestones (anatomy scans and 20 weeks PG this coming week) I really am starting to focus more on this pregnancy and less on my loss.  It is a good feeling.  My homework this week is to work on imagining positive future outcomes: start to picture a healthy rest of the pregnancy, a positive labor and delivery of a healthy baby, and how life will be for us when this little baby comes home. (I still have to fight myself not to say "IF this little baby comes home with us" so obviously this area is something I need to work on.)  I'm very happy to have found this therapist though since we click well and she specializes in maternal/prenatal areas. I think it has already helped and I plan to keep going every week for the foreseeable future.


Okay this is crazy long so,
Lastly, I have my anatomy scan 2.0 on Monday morning! They will recheck everything and should be able to confirm if everything is good with baby boy's heart.  We will also find out for sure if he only has one kidney.  I am hoping for the best with everything and, though I have a little bit of anxiety, I can honestly say I'm feeling pretty good. I'm happy this will be one more milestone to overcome and I'm feeling pretty positive.

(Also - major hugs and love to my girl RunCC who will be finding out on Monday if her beautiful embabies stuck!! Hoping and praying SO HARD for you, love!!)

RELIEF!!! (Anatomy scan results)

Holy lord was that difficult. This past month waiting for today's anatomy scan has been my own personal kind of hell. I cannot tell you how happy I am that it is finally over. And man oh man do I appreciate aaaallll the support from you wonderful ladies here and on PAIF and SAIF and TB - I really don't know what I would do without you all. I SO appreciate all the comments and the love and positive thoughts!!! <3 <3

So now, I am THRILLED to say that I have good news to report!!

Our rainbow appears to be healthy.   Pheeeewwwwwww.

::I am taking deep calming breaths as I type this, letting more and more of the anxiety go and more and more of the relief seep in::

They were able to confidently rule out any kind of neural tube defect or paralysis. No markers for Downs' Syndrome.  Only one marker for Trisomy 18 (they found choroid plexus cysts in the brain which, in recent years have been proven to not be reliable as a marker anyway so the perinatologist said do NOT worry and do NOT google.  I will not.) Besides that the brain looks good, no hydrocephalus, all parts of the brain are there(!), all parts of the body were moving(!), and overall our baby appeared healthy and measuring a couple days ahead!!

It was still too early to see everything in the heart so the dr is not making a judgment call on that yet. The heart was beating though and there were the proper number of chambers so during A/S 2.0 (in 2.5 weeks on Monday Nov 24th) they will be able to tell for sure if all is good with the heart.

The one not so great piece of news today was that it looks like our baby may only have one kidney.  Petey only had one kidney too but while his was barely functioning this one is strong.  Lots of people only have one and it's certainly not life-threatening so if that is the case, that is totally fine.  (My perspective on what is worrisome is sooooo different now.) Doc said it was possible it is just a little too early so that's why we couldn't find it but he wasn't too optimistic. There didn't look to be blood flow to the left side where there should have been. On Nov 24th we will know for sure.  Hopefully it will be there but in the broad scheme of things this is very miniscule.

I am SO. F-ING. RELIEVED I don't even have the words to express it.


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnndddddd...........





We found out the sex!  :-D 





(Warning: Total fetal porn below)





So much for 'mother's intuition'! 

BAM!  Hello little willy! Baby boy was not at ALL shy.  I was shocked it was so easy to see and, quite honestly, slightly taken aback that it's so visible so early. Yikes! haha! Hubs, on the other hand, is one proud papa, LOL!

I can't believe we're having a little boy. A little healthy baby boy!!! I am so so HAPPY I can't stop the tears from leaking out.  Hubs and I just looked at each other and cried and smiled and cried some more when we found out. So many happy tears and just... amazement.  

This little guy certainly put us through the wringer today though.  He was moving during the U/S but refused to turn off of his back or change positions.  The U/S Tech had to dig around in my stomach for a LONG time, had me lay on my side, drink water, walk around, go pee... nothing worked.  Talk about flashbacks to previous scans when Petey wouldn't cooperate.  It was not a pleasant experience.  Finally I suggested trying a transvaginal U/S and I'm glad I did because although she didn't glean too much additional info from the T/V part, when we tried the regular U/S one last time he had flipped upside down so she was able to see the full (closed!) spine and the (lack of 2) kidneys.  It was a long appointment - almost 2 hours in total since we met with the perinatologist for results directly afterwards.  I am just so so happy though.  The relief feels like soothing waves enveloping my body and just washing over me.

I am just so THANKFUL.

 

 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Looks like I have some store returns to make.... what a dope :-D )

 

NT Scan: Done!

Fair warning, I'm exhausted from work and so this post is probably gonna be a lot of unstructured blabbing. Enjoy.

So we had our NT scan on Tuesday morning and as far as I know everything looks fine. The NT measurement was 2.2mm (they worry if it's over 3.5mm) so that's good and baby was moving around and measuring a few days ahead at 13weeks.  

Baby!

I also had blood drawn for the first trimester screening and was hoping to hear results today but am still waiting.  I really wish they'd get on that. The fact that I haven't received a call though is likely a good thing.

As I expected the whole appointment was a little tough.  It was hard seeing Erica (the genetic counselor) again and unfortunately, Hubs and I had our meeting with her before MFM did the ultrasound so it did not help our nerves to hear all about our increased risk for neural tube defects, downs syndrome and other chromosomal issues and then have to go back out into the waiting room for another 25 mins before they brought us in for the scan.  Hubs was really emotional during the U/S and had a hard time with the fact that we were in the exact same exam room with the same sonographer as the time when we found out about Petey's problems.  Honestly the whole thing kind of sucked and I'm glad it's over. I'm just trying to feel grateful that so far it looks like everything was alright during yesterday's U/S and am trying not to think about the other parts.

Due to our history they are able to offer the anatomy scan to us early at 17weeks so that's good. It is scheduled for Thursday Nov 6th. One month to wait.  As long as everything goes well between now and then (no bleeding, scares, etc.) that will be the next time we see this little baby. They won't be able to get all measurements that early so I'll need to go back for A/S 2.0 a couple weeks later but I don't mind at all. I would much rather have the A/S as early as possible so I can hopefully set my mind at ease a little bit.  I really am just waiting for that scan so that I can finally breathe. 

Besides that, we don't plan to do any additional testing. We talked extensively with Erica about our testing options but doing the NT scan, first trimester screening, an early A/S and then a follow up A/S will yield us everything we need to know and with the best timing.  If they find any specific issues then an amniocentesis or CVS might be in my future but for now we'll just wait and see. I did have the option to have a blood test just for neural tube defects at about 15 weeks but if we do that and I test positive they won't be able to move the ultrasound up any sooner than 17 weeks so we would be in absolute hell for 2 weeks. I opted out of that one in order to save my sanity.

So anywho, now we just wait to see if my B/W will come back okay and then we just keep our fingers crossed until Nov 6th (17weeks).  Between now and then I'll also be meeting with the nutritionist and having another routine prenatal check up with the high risk OB.

Just counting the days as the weeks add up! C'mon 17!

Scary Appointment (11 weeks)

Let me start this post by saying that the baby is fine. Thank God.

However, there was a span of about 45 minutes this afternoon when it looked like my nightmare was coming true.

I went for my routine prenatal appointment today and saw my midwife again for the first time since Petey.  That was a little tough. I was feeling slightly emotional as it was and then of course (of course!) she wanted to talk all about it: What was wrong with him, my surgery, how life has been for me since.... everything I DON'T want to talk about when I am trying to keep my shit together.  I got through that though and we started talking about this pregnancy. And about all the fears that come along with it. And then she got out the doppler.

I had thought about and dreamt about this moment more times over the last 2.5 weeks (since we last heard the heartbeat) than I'd care to admit.  And every time I thought about it my fear was that there was no heartbeat to be found. Today, that nightmare came true.  I laid on the table for what felt like forever while she slowly moved that doppler around, digging it into my stomach with nothing but static to be heard.  At first she was chatty, saying it can take a little while to find, and baby's still so small, and don't worry because my uterus is so big and full... but as the minutes ticked on and on she became silent.  I laid there barely breathing and eventually the tears started to fall. She let me cry and kept trying for a few more minutes but eventually we knew it wasn't going to happen.  She told me she'd get me in for an ultrasound immediately and left the room to make arrangements.  I couldn't help but notice she wouldn't look me in the eye. I cried so hard with fear when she left.  I was shaking and at one point heard myself whimpering like a child. I so regretted telling my husband not to bother coming today. I didn't know how I'd physically get myself home if I was about to be told that we'd lost another baby.

I got dressed, went to the ladies room to splash some cold water on my face, then went downstairs to the radiology department. I had to wait 20 minutes. It felt like an ETERNITY as I sat in the waiting room trying to keep the panic and fear at bay. The radiologist finally called me back and as we walked, she told me that we'd be in the room at the end of the hall. I remember thinking that was sensible. If I was about to find out my baby was dead they certainly don't want the other patients to hear me wail. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was walking down that hallway to my doom.  

In the end though, everything was okay, thank God.  My baby's heart is still beating. I got to see him/her move again. I didn't have to say goodbye today. I don't have the words to express the relief.  The problem was likely due to the fact that they found I have an anterior placenta which means it's on the front of my uterus with the baby behind it making it hard to hear the heartbeat.  PHEW.

That was a very scary appointment. I would like for that to please not happen again.

In related news, I am happy (understatement) to be able to say that I am still pregnant and am 11 weeks today.  And baby measured right on track at 11w2d with a heartbeat of 168.  Also, my nausea is out of control.  My doc gave me a prescription for Zofran and I didn't even make it out of the pharmacy parking lot before I took the first dose. I need this to work for me. I can't eat and am struggling to not get dehydrated. I lost another 2 pounds this week and feel sick and weak all the time.  My body doesn't seem to like pregnancy.  (I really hope that is not foreshadowing.)

Hi from my sweet baby today!:

Wiggle-worm

Quick update because I am SWAMPED with work:

We had our ultrasound this morning (8w4d) and everything was looking great! We have a little gummy bear in there with a strong heartbeat of 156bpm and the best part of all: S/he was wiggling all around in there! :-D  
This is new for us because we never saw Petey move much at all during any ultrasounds. We didn't know at the time that wasn't right but I have already seen the difference between what an U/S is supposed to look like and what we experienced previously. I am SO happy to report that we saw baby move all of his/her little arms and legs individually which made me immediately burst into tears of happiness since A) I wasn't expecting it and B) we know now that this little baby is not paralyzed.  I am so so so so so so relieved and grateful!!

Ahhhh today is a good day :-D

Say hi to my little wiggle-worm!

First Ultrasound (with pic)

Well, we officially have a little baby on board :-)

We went in for our first U/S this morning at 6w4d and saw our little baby. And heard its little heartbeat (120bpm). I think it's impossible not to tear up when hearing your baby's heartbeat. It is just amazing.

With all the myriad emotions running through my body I can still appreciate just how incredible it is to be blessed with a little life growing inside me. I am so humbled and so grateful.

My RE's nurse originally told me that I would only be having the one U/S with them before being released to my OB but apparently the dr. wasn't happy with that and said "I want her to have two! Make it happen however you need to!" so I'll be going in again 2 weeks from now for my second and final U/S with them. I love them there but I sincerely hope that visit will be the last time I step foot in that office.

Meet my little rainbow:
 

(It's the little blob at the top of the black space)

Not much to look at yet but hopefully it will be eventually :-)

Week 13 & NT Scan 2.0 (Pics!)

Today is 13 weeks and I've officially entered the second trimester!!
 
We had NT scan 2.0 today and it went great. I drank some OJ on the way there and our little Petey Nugget was dancing and be-bopping around :-)  S/he was still not really in the mood to cooperate but eventually got into the proper position needed for measurements. 

Without further ado, say hello to my little friend! (S/he's waving - that's the hand above the chin)

   
I can't believe how much I love this little baby already and s/he's only the size of a peach! It was so great to see our little nugget moving around again today and the heartbeat was still healthy. I'm so relieved about that and I'm happy we were able to get the NT scan completed in time!
 
So that's what my insides currently look like, now here's what my outsides look like:

Weight gain: +1.5

I'm not sure if it's evident in the pic but I'm starting to look slightly more pregnant now versus just fat.  I also got a comment from a (female) coworker the other day about the size of my breasts. (I am learning that tact is apparently not a strong suit amongst my colleagues. I sense much unwanted belly-touching in my future...)

In other news; the last couple days have brought slightly less nausea and exhaustion and a lot less puking!  I cannot express what a relief that has been and I hope it's a trend!  I've also been having small bouts of dizziness here and there now (especially if I do too much or get up too quickly) but sitting down and breathing deeply for a sec makes it pass just fine. Apparently that's normal since so much blood is going to the baby/uterus that there's less in my head. (No wonder why I'm kind of a dingbat lately).

Not too much on the horizon medically; I have another appt with my midwife scheduled for the 18th and then the second part of this integrated genetic screening (just bloodwork) will be March 4th.  It's been a big change to go from having soooooo many appointments with the RE every cycle to only having 1 or 2 per month. I am enjoying being considered a "normal pregnant woman"!

Week 8 - Ultrasound (with pics!)

8 week ultrasound today! We got to hear the heartbeat!!! It's a healthy149 bpm (they wanted to see at least 120 at this point).  Baby is measuring a couple days behind at 7w3d but I'm gonna trust the doc and not stress about that.  

So without further ado, here is our little (chicken/chickin?) nugget! (Now that I have a visual and it's actually a baby, I can't think of it as "Petrie Dish Pete" anymore): 

With the second picture, we were listening to the heartbeat and watching the heart flicker at the same time. It was incredible and it finally hit home that this is really happening.  I can't believe there's actually a baby in there!!!!

Today was also my last appt with the RE. Two of the nurses teared up when we were hugging and saying our goodbyes - it was very cute. They loved me there :-)  I'm going to miss them.
At the same time, after this u/s, I am now excited to move on to being a "normal pregnant woman" and have scheduled my first appt on Jan 14th with my new OB/midwife team! I'm now looking forward to this next new phase.  ::happy sigh::

During the exit interview with the doc today, he said that based on the heartbeat and size of the baby, he estimates that my chances of miscarriage have dropped from 30% (because PCOS doubles the risk of m/c) to just 5-10% now so that was a HUGE relief.  My fingers are still crossed but things look good so maybe I'll only live in fear half of the time now. 

Yay!!! What a wonderful way to start 2014 :-)