Jack: 5 Months

I can't believe my little guy is already 5 months old. That's almost half a year already!  Well, I can and I can't.  Half a year sounds like a lot but parts of these past 5 months have felt so long. Having a newborn (especially one with some special needs) is so much harder than I ever thought it would be. It has been AMAZING but also tough.

Here's Jack's 5 month update!

His smile just makes me melt.  It is the best part of my day. And thankfully, he's full of smiles these days so I have lots of good parts of each day :-)  Five months is a fun age so far. He's so interactive and so inquisitive. Sometimes I look at him and just think to myself:  "He's a HUMAN. He's his own person and we MADE him." It's nuts.

Things have gotten better recently because I got some help.  Not the therapy kind but the nanny kind.  We hired someone to come to our home to take care of Jack a couple hours a day, a few days a week. It has been a wonderful thing for me to have a break.  I haven't gotten too deep into it on here but things have been tough on me physically because my husband's chronic back pain keeps him from being able to hold Jack for more than 2-3 minutes at a time so it's been ALL me ALL the time.  And due to his Achon, Jack has to be held almost continuously as he can't be put in a swing or bouncer or exersaucer.  Carrying around a 15 lb baby all day everyday was not only causing my back to become complete shit but also causing me to have a bit of mental breakdown because I couldn't get ANYTHING done and could never have even one moment to myself.  I pee with the kid on my lap most times for God's sake! But Nanny J started last week and I love her and Jack loves her.  It was very hard for me to admit that I couldn't do it all myself but once I finally got over that it has been a godsend.  I can poop if I need to now! And shave my legs and clean the bathroom and make dinner and go to chiropractor appointments and and and...  I even went out to get a pedicure yesterday! I still struggle to not feel selfish about this whole situation but my hubby has encouraged me all along to do this, and to use the time she's here to go out and do things for ME to help my mental state so that I feel like a person again.  He feels awful that he can't physically help with Jack. I don't know what to say about that - I feel awful he can't physically help with Jack too. I am envious of those women who can hand the baby off to their husband when he gets home, even if only for an hour, but I can't.  I can't ever give Hubs a night feeding, even on the weekends, because he can't physically lift Jack out of his crib. I can't take the dog for a walk in the evening because even if the baby is happily playing on his playmat when I leave, if he starts to cry my husband can't pick him up to soothe him. It's a shitty situation. But there's nothing that can be done about it so Nanny J is the next best thing. Hubs says that he has better days at work now because he knows that I can have a break. It makes him feel good and that makes me feel good.  (Getting a pedicure feels pretty good too :-) )

Other that that, not too much to report.  I wish I could get on here more often to blog because there are good things that happen all the time that I'd want to write about but now they've just fluttered away out of my useless brain.  Over the past month we've had lots of playdates with other baby friends including another LP (little person) playdate with Jack's two dwarf baby friends in the area. He met a ton more family and friends, we spent a lot of time out in the pool during hot days... Stuff happened. It's been good. 
Here's a photodump!

"Hi mama!"

Learning that hair pulling doesn't feel good LOL

Dr cleared him to be able to sit in his rock n' play for 15 mins per day! Rejoice!!

Still not so sure about this giraffe but learning to accept him.

Drooly monster!

Practicing his modeling poses

Hi!

 

Deep in conversation with red bird

I fuckin love this kid.