14 weeks: The good.

I really want to try to make more of an effort to focus on the good. I owe that to my little Rainbow (and to myself too, really).  Maybe I just have to remind myself that yes, I love Petey and I miss him and I always will, but letting my grief and sadness run my life is not helping anyone. It won't bring him back and it's certainly not making me feel any better.  So I'm going to try to focus a bit more each day on the things that I have to be happy about (namely, a new little life growing inside me).

So, The good: 

• I have hit the 2nd trimester!  I've officially made it through the horrid 1st trimester TWICE in (mostly) one piece
• Nausea is getting a bit better and I have my wonderful Zofran for the bad days
• My belly is getting rounder (but I'm still holding steady at my starting weight - go me!)
• My boobs haven't changed much at all and never hurt (which is VERY different from my 1st pregnancy)
• I sleep decently most nights thanks to my memory-foam mattress topper! 
• I am having very few cravings
• I'm lucky in that I work from home 3 days/week and can live in yoga pants and huge oversized tees half the time since I'm still at the funny in-between stage where my clothes are too small/uncomfortable but maternity clothes are still too big.
• What else?  Ummm...it's Friday! Ok, that's it for now.

The not-as-good: 

• I am super constipated.  I mean super. I need some Colace or something STAT.
• My diet is terrible.  Meat still makes me gag and I haven't been able to choke down a vegetable in months.  I am grossing myself out.
• I still cannot exercise and get light-headed if I try to do too much. I almost fainted walking the dog the other day so now I'm a little scared to try again.

I wonder if I will start feeling excitement once we pass the anatomy scan (assuming all goes well)? With this pregnancy I just feel like I'm waiting.  I'm experiencing all the pregnancy symptoms, both good and bad, and every time something "new" happens I just sort of recognize it like, "yup, here's that again, right about when it came last time", and then just wait for the next thing.  Hopefully once I pass 20 weeks (again, assuming I get there [I can't seem to say/think about the future without a disclaimer]) things will start to change for me. At that point I'll be entering uncharted territory. Hopefully the apprehension and feeling of deja vu will fade and be replaced with excitement and anticipation.  And hope.


And in non-baby related good news: I do government-funded contract work and just found out today (after MONTHS of waiting) that our company won the rebid for the next 5 years!!! Thank goodness. If we hadn't won I'd be out of a job come October 31st! Cutting it close there, gov't!

Have a good weekend, people!