Monday, November 4, 2013

A glimpse at my neurotic side

So I "came out" about IVF to my girlfriends this morning via email. They all knew Hubs and I had been TTC for a while and a couple of them knew we were seeing an RE but they didn't know we were going through IVF.  We all got together yesterday and I was planning to share the news at that point but there ended up being a few girls there with whom I am not very close and I didn't feel comfortable sharing it with them.  So instead, I sent an email to my close girlfriends early this morning with a quick overview and asked them to please just keep their fingers crossed for me and Hubs over the next few weeks.  I haven't heard back from anyone yet.

Ugh, now I'm regretting saying anything at all. I keep checking my email every 5 mins to see if there's a response yet. I'm sure that I'm just being impatient and that it's just that everyone's busy with work this morning and maybe haven't even read it but now I'm all worried that I've shared too much and made people uncomfortable and they don't know what to say...I don't know. I'm just feeling really exposed right now and wondering if this was a mistake. 

I hate how insecure and unsure this all makes me feel! 

I'm sure I'll hear back from them by this evening. Right??!!!?  Yuck.
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6 comments:

  1. jaytee1611/4/13, 1:53 PM

    That sounds like my internal dialogue! I'm sorry, Chickin, I would be doing the exact same thing. Hopefully they're just trying to figure out what to say, I am learning through this IF journey that a lot of people have no clue about any of this and are sometimes afraid of saying the wrong thing. Even if their words fail, I wholeheartedly believe that they will be rooting for you and hubs, hoping this brings you your baby. I am proud of you for reaching out, and inspired to maybe confide in a friend myself. I hope someone emails you back but try (unlike me) to not read too much into it - yet. <3

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  2. Unknown11/4/13, 2:25 PM

    Jaytee took the words out of my mouth. I'm sure they are trying to figure out the right thing to say. I'd probably be hitting refresh non-stop too, just waiting for the first response to come in. I'm so proud of you for finding the strength to open up to them. <3

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  3. ChickinNH11/4/13, 4:57 PM

    Thanks ladies. I did hear back from two of them thankfully, and they said they are definitely rooting for us and will keep their fingers crossed. I'm relieved. Hopefully I'll hear from the others tonight but if not, I think I'm okay with that. I'm sure everyone reacts to stuff like this differently so I can't really lay any expectations on them right now. Now that I've gotten at least ONE response I feel good about opening up :-)

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  4. RunDreamer11/4/13, 6:31 PM

    You are awesome for having the courage to tell your friends. I'm sure they've got your back and are just trying to figure out the best way to tell you that. <3

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  5. Twinkie11/4/13, 8:06 PM

    I'm with CC they are probably trying to figure out what to say. I think that it's great that you came out to your friends. I have only told one friend about our IVF and she found out when I called her sobbing after losing all of our embryos during IVF #1.

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  6. tiny dove11/5/13, 11:08 PM

    It's not easy to share something like that, I think it's great that you did. As previous comments mention, they're probably figuring out what to say. Glad you did at least get a response though.

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