16 weeks...it's baaaaack...

...Morning sickness.  Dum dum dum duuuuuum. (Wow, it's hard to express evil-sounding music through a blog post.)  I thought I was done with all that but for some reason it has come back with a vengeance during the past week. However, it's no longer random nausea & puking throughout the day - it is solely confined to the mornings now (like REAL morning sickness!).  I feel gross in the mornings, always puke about 45 mins after getting up, and then feel gross off and on until around noon. Then I'm fine the rest of the day.  This has made getting to work on time very very difficult. Let's hope this bout is short-lived.

Here's my growing bump:

Weight is +4 lbs and baby's the size of an avocado!

This week has been funny with running into people I haven't seen in a little while who didn't know I was pregnant.  Inevitably they'll glance at my stomach, pretend they didn't and then say suspiciously; "So, what's new?". I usually then just point to my belly and just say; "Baby" to which they squeal a bit and respond with; "Oh yes, you have that pregnancy glow!"  

I find this amusing. I'm pretty sure I do not have a 'pregnancy glow' right now. In fact, I think I would currently classify it more as a 'dead fish glow'. I know it, you know it, but thanks, I guess, for pretending.

I also get a lot of: "Ooo, are you excited?!"  Heck yes I'm excited. You have no idea just how excited we truly are.  But really, has anyone EVER answered that question with anything other than "yes"?  One of these times I'd like to answer with; "Meh, not really" just to see their reaction but I don't think I have the guts for it.

What I have NOT gotten is: "Was it planned?" like so many women on my BMB seem to have. That's probably because I'm in my thirties and have been married for a while. In my case I think most people have been wondering when the heck we were gonna get on that but luckily I haven't received any insensitive comments.  Yet.  

I haven't felt any movement from little Petey Nugget yet but this is apparently around the time that I should start feeling things (supposedly it's like a bubbles sensation). I hope I'll be able to report that next week!  I also have my countdown on to when we find out if it's a boy or girl!  (18 days to go!)

You didn't know you were pregnant? Really?

Please tell me you have seen the show "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant".  I am so confused by that show.  HOW could you go to full term and honestly have no idea you were pregnant?  I feel like every single day something new and different is happening to my body. New feelings, new quirks and pains and growth. I'm not even technically 4 months in yet and already it would be absolutely impossible for me to NOT notice I'm pregnant.

Take this morning for instance: Last night I remember remarking to my husband that my nips were itchy. I did some absent-minded scratching and moved on. Then this morning as I was about to step into the shower, I glanced into the bathroom mirror and BAM! TOTAL National Geographic nipples staring back at me. What the ever living fuck?! Seriously; cute little nips yesterday and today it looks like I just gave birth to a litter of puppies. How did this happen overnight?!! 

(Don't you just love when I give you waaaay more info than you ever wanted to know?)

I'm serious in that I don't even recognize my boobs anymore. Even if I lived in a house with no mirrors and no lights, only dressed in huge over-sized sweatshirts at all times, and had nubs for hands so that I couldn't actually touch/feel my boobs I STILL think I would notice the changes. I just can't believe that there could be women out there who truly didn't know they were pregnant. As my (total white-bred) husband would say: "Bitches be crazy!"

Heh. Yoink!

15 weeks. And the stretch marks have begun...

I've been feeling the stretching now; Round Ligament Pain (RLP) to be precise. It's not painful, just uncomfortable sometimes, mostly on my right side. I've been slathering on the Burt's Bees Mama Bee Belly Butter which feels good and keeps me moisturized but is apparently not doing much for the stretch marks.  
PS: Pregnancy + winter = ridiculously dry skin. I am a dinosaur.

Here's this week's bump pic:

 Baby's the size of a naval orange!

Weight gain: +3.5 lbs. Somehow I gained a pound and a half this week. Looks like the lack of puking is starting to catch up with me.  However, I'm really not big on food lately. I almost always feel hungry but nothing really sounds good to me anymore except for tart lemonade (I'm lookin' at you, Runnin' Red!) and juice, but there's so much sugar in them that I try to limit myself.  I've been eating what I can because I know I need to but I'm annoyed with food in general lately; particularly when I eat something that I used to like and then find that it doesn't taste the same to me anymore.

Tuesday was my routine monthly prenatal check-up with my midwife and all was good: Heartbeat was back up to 150bpm, I got my results that the NT scan was normal, and I found out that I'm negative for cystic fibrosis. All good news!  

Also, we scheduled the anatomy scan for March 18th! I can't wait to find out if little Petey Nugget is a girl or boy!!  I had previously wanted to be Team Green and wait to find out the sex until the birth but Hubs really wanted to know. He said that since I'm carrying the baby/feeling everything and all he can really do is watch, it would help him feel closer to the baby if he can picture it as a boy or girl. That made sense so I gave in.  Now that we're definitely going to find out, I cannot WAIT! Less than a month to go!

The midwife also scheduled me to see both the Nutritionist and one of the OBs in the next few weeks since she's concerned that my PCOS plus extra weight could lead to worse insulin/blood sugar issues and possibly gestational diabetes. Ugh.  So all of those upcoming appts coupled with integrated screening part 2 and then my next routine prenatal with her equals at least 1 appt per week through the first part of April. What was that I said recently about loving the break from all the dr appts? ;-)

Okay I think that's all for me today. I'm exhausted lately because work has been hell on earth recently and all-encompassing.  I have been one step away from a complete crying breakdown every single day this week because it's been so awful and I really don't know how much more I can take. I am counting the days until maternity leave. (As of today, 175 days until my due date!)

Mmm...lemons

I am loving lemony foods lately!  How appropriate since I'm now 14 weeks along (minus a day) and baby is the size of a lemon! Bump pic!

Weight gain is +2 lbs and it's now obvious I'm pregnant. People at work who I haven't even told are randomly congratulating me now once they catch sight of my stomach so I guess there's no longer a question. Good thing this isn't a food baby or I'd be pissed!

Annoyance of the week: My coworker (who I strongly suspect may be a hoarder) has been trying to give me all her old baby stuff.  Now, that might sound like a nice thing except for the fact that her youngest child is NINE.  She has had this shit laying around her house for NINE YEARS and keeps trying to pass it off on me like it's a present that I should be excited about. Umm, thanks but no, I do not want your used, decade-old changing pad! Or the ugly giraffe poster that was hanging in the kid's room that is now yellowed and curled up on the sides.  I'm not sure if she thinks she's being nice or if she's finally getting around to some loooong overdue spring cleaning, but either way, I really don't know what to do.  I don't want to insult her but.... NO! I do not want your ancient recycled shit! You know who does though?  The garbage man.

Awesomeness of the week: Morning sickness has been letting up considerably!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
That was a pretty rough 1st trimester. I am thrilled that it is now over and I am loving 2nd tri so far!!  I'm feeling better, I have some more energy, I'm sleeping better, AND I have a cute bump forming! Plus, not having to suck in my stomach is fun :-)

My next appt with my midwife is this Tuesday!  I'm looking forward to hearing the heartbeat again but besides that I really am not sure what else we'll be doing...guess I'll find out on Tues!

It's Facebook official!

We announced the pregnancy on Facebook today! Here it is:

After more than a year and half spent wishing and hoping, "Hubby" and I are absolutely thrilled to share the news that we are expecting Baby "Chickin" this August!!

It took me a bit to figure out what exactly to say since we were never "out" about our infertility but I think this struck a decent middle ground so folks have some idea of what we went through/just how happy we are, but without going into detail.

I also have to say that actually posting it out there for the world to see and having people come out of the woodwork to congratulate us made me unexpectedly emotional.  I couldn't stop myself from crying with gratitude, thinking about everything it took to get here and remembering the hopeless times filled with fear that our dream of a family may never come true. I just feel so unbelievably grateful and thankful that we are here now and I wish for that so hard for every single one of my fellow Dreamers. 

My good friend Jaytee at Miles Yet to Travel linked to this blog post on her own blog the other day which so eloquently sums up everything I feel about my own "Sisters Who Wait".  I think about you all every single day and am always hoping and praying for you. Although my circumstances have changed now, I could never forget what it's like to be in the IF trenches and I hope you know that I'm still there beside you on the sidelines, fighting with you from afar.

Week 13 & NT Scan 2.0 (Pics!)

Today is 13 weeks and I've officially entered the second trimester!!
 
We had NT scan 2.0 today and it went great. I drank some OJ on the way there and our little Petey Nugget was dancing and be-bopping around :-)  S/he was still not really in the mood to cooperate but eventually got into the proper position needed for measurements. 

Without further ado, say hello to my little friend! (S/he's waving - that's the hand above the chin)

   
I can't believe how much I love this little baby already and s/he's only the size of a peach! It was so great to see our little nugget moving around again today and the heartbeat was still healthy. I'm so relieved about that and I'm happy we were able to get the NT scan completed in time!
 
So that's what my insides currently look like, now here's what my outsides look like:

Weight gain: +1.5

I'm not sure if it's evident in the pic but I'm starting to look slightly more pregnant now versus just fat.  I also got a comment from a (female) coworker the other day about the size of my breasts. (I am learning that tact is apparently not a strong suit amongst my colleagues. I sense much unwanted belly-touching in my future...)

In other news; the last couple days have brought slightly less nausea and exhaustion and a lot less puking!  I cannot express what a relief that has been and I hope it's a trend!  I've also been having small bouts of dizziness here and there now (especially if I do too much or get up too quickly) but sitting down and breathing deeply for a sec makes it pass just fine. Apparently that's normal since so much blood is going to the baby/uterus that there's less in my head. (No wonder why I'm kind of a dingbat lately).

Not too much on the horizon medically; I have another appt with my midwife scheduled for the 18th and then the second part of this integrated genetic screening (just bloodwork) will be March 4th.  It's been a big change to go from having soooooo many appointments with the RE every cycle to only having 1 or 2 per month. I am enjoying being considered a "normal pregnant woman"!

No luck today with the NT scan

Hubs and I just got back from the NT scan. It was a no-go because baby was not in the mood to cooperate and preferred doing headstands, so the sonographer couldn't get a clear head shot and therefore couldn't measure the nuchal translucency behind the neck.  She tried everything to make the baby shift positions: made me empty my bladder, had me lay on my side, tilted the table so far backward I felt like I was going to fall on my head, tried the u/s transvaginally, had me chug an entire bottle of cold water while wandering around the room...nothing worked. She also was not the least bit concerned about digging around in my stomach HARD with that damn u/s wand the entire time, trying to turn/shift the baby, and HOLY CRAP did that transvaginal HURT!  I have never had it hurt like that before in aaaaall my closeups with the dildocam; even when my ovaries were the size of saucers right before the egg retrieval it did not hurt this much.  Maybe it was because my uterus (and ovaries?) has shifted so the pressure from the internal wand now feels like a giant knife?  Or maybe this sonographer just enjoyed hurting me? Who knows.  What I do know is that I had to focus on some deep breathing to get through this today.  And I get to do it all again on Friday for NT scan 2.0!

Hopefully baby feels like cooperating on Friday because at that point I'll already be 13 weeks so time is running out on getting this done. (Part 1 of this integrated screening needs to be completed by 13w6d at the LATEST.) Also, since we couldn't get the NT measurements today I also couldn't get the bloodwork done and will be doing that on Friday as well assuming all goes well.  At the sonographer's suggestion, I'll be drinking some apple or orange juice before Friday's appt which should definitely keep the baby moving around! Fingers crossed.

The good news: We did get to see the baby waving his/her little arms at us!! That was awesome and I'm smiling right now just thinking about it. I can't really put into words how that made me feel - just amazing (and happy and relieved and hopeful and grateful and and and...). Heartbeat was still healthy at 140bpm and even though s/he didn't want to turn to give us a profile pic and seemed a little sleepy this morning, everything looked good and s/he was active. Even though we couldn't get the measurement today I just feel so unbelievably relieved after seeing our baby moving and looking normal because I've been freaking myself out lately with horrible vivid dreams of shit that I do not need to be thinking about right now.  Hopefully those nightmares will all stop now :-) 

I'm hoping to have a nice clear picture to post on Friday! 

Week 12

This is my very last week in the first trimester!!! How did that happen?!

Here's this week's bump pic!

Baby is now the size of a plum!

Weight: I've gained about a pound so I am now at what my starting weight should have been.  Funny, since NONE of my pants fit anymore. I'm now exclusively in maternity pants (and my comfy PJ/yoga pants of course). I also went through my closet earlier this week to weed out any tops that won't be fitting me much longer since they're not stretchy/large/long enough which left me with a pitiful amount of clothes. I will definitely have to do some shopping in the coming weeks.


Get in ma belly!

Cravings: I'd been wanting a thick chocolate milk shake for the past couple weeks but was pushing it off hoping the craving would go away. It stuck around though so I finally had one this past week and it was amaaaazing. Besides that, I'm still loving cooked carrots and red meat - particularly burgers which is ironic because pre-pregnancy I was not a burger fan. I was talking with my sister about that the other day and for some reason I said: "Baby wants a buuuurger" in Fat Bastard voice and unfortunately it has stuck. So now not only is this poor kid nicknamed Petri Dish Pete but I'm also thinking of him as Fat Bastard.  God forbid if this baby is a girl...

Symptoms: EXHAUSTION. I thought I was tired before but it reached a whole new level this week. Also, my old buddies N&P (nausea & puking) are still hanging in there but seem to be letting up a bit, thankfully. Yesterday was bad but I've been having more good days than bad lately (though still not enough to stray too far from an emergency puke bucket just in case).

Finally, I've officially started telling people at work that I'm pregnant.  I can see them glance at my stomach while we talk but pretend they are not (some more successfully than others). I've been spilling the beans to the coworkers I'm close with and leaving the rest wondering, haha!  I haven't really figured out how to handle everyone else yet. Maybe I just won't do anything at all and see how big I get before people can't keep themselves from asking...I'm mean like that.

NT scan/ultrasound on Tuesday! Can't wait!!